Happily Ever…Never?

My second-oldest cousin got married this weekend to a beautiful woman. The weather was gorgeous, the venue lovely in its simplicity, and the ceremony short and sweet. During the ceremony and deep into the reception, the couple glowed with happiness and pure love for one another. I’ve never seen two people more in love than these two on their wedding day.

They’re your classic love-at-first-sight, whirlwind romance kind of couple. They started a relationship the first night they met. They moved in together three and a half months later. Right around their first anniversary, they got engaged. And then, just a few days short of the two year anniversary of when they first met, they got married.

Their relationship timeline, while clearly perfect and right for them, scares me to death.

My boyfriend and I have been together nearly seven months now, and we’ve known each other nearly two years to the day. So, we’ve known each other the exact same amount of time that my cousin has known his now-wife. And I can’t even fathom the idea of marrying my boyfriend right now. Don’t get me wrong, I think about marrying him in the far-off, hypothetical, dreamlike way. But if he tried to put a ring  on it right now, I would have to politely decline. Despite several family members insinuating that I’m next, I’m not ready for that. We’re not ready for that.

Does that mean there’s something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with my relationship? Will I ever know if he is truly the one? And if he’s not, how will I ever find the one who is? Should I be concerned that I don’t have that sense of certainty? Or is it simply because this is the nature of life for twenty-something millennials?

So many people I know are desperate to find love, yet we don’t really seem to know what to do with it once we have it. I don’t know. Maybe at our age we’re still just too lost trying to find ourselves. Maybe once we figure ourselves out, everything else will fall into place.


One comment

  1. mliae · August 10, 2016

    You HAVE to take your time and on your own timeline. The net is full of ridiculous ultimatums, but I say – do what makes you comfortable. If it takes longer to get to know someone well enough to devote your life to that person – take the time!


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